FORREST J. ACKERMAN'S
"INSIDE DARKEST ACULA"
Movie Review in Famous Monsters # 12
"I WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN"

Forward: Once upon a time (difficult as it may be to realize for those who have long made this magazine a Way of Life) there was no FAMOUS MONSTERS! In those barren ancient times, however, I wrote reviews of monster, horror, fantasy and sci-fi films for a variety of publications, and for the readers of a monthly magazine in Scotland my most forthright opinions. Perhaps I was most ruthless overseas because my words were published 6000 miles from the scene of the crimes and I felt that few producers, directors, writers, actors or anyone connected with the productions would see my criticisms (often scathing) and have their feelings hurt. For, actually, I do not relish making people feel bad; I have a tender heart; the heart of a small boy (and some say a head to match.)
Now it may seem a bit like biting the claw that feeds one to pan pictures in the pages of a periodical that depends on monster movies good or bad. However, I am all for giving praise where due. If a hindsighted kick in the hindquarters will help improve the future of Hollywood's product, then it is hoped that those concerned will approve of my disapproving of the disappointing-- and that you readers will be entertained in the process.

--Forrest J. Ackerman

Famous Monsters' own Dr. Acula

I am a 41-year old film reviewer (I wrote in 1957) and I don't want to die. But I may have to. I have just seen I WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN. My question is: who can I sue--or whom-- for infliction of cruel and unnatural punishment.

What country will strike a medal for the Order of the Bloodshot Eyeball?
Who will join me in a holy crusade for the establishment of the SPCC? --The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Critics?

Several issues ago an unhappy reader pointed a knowledgeable finger in my direction and waggled it, in effect scolding "Fie for shame, Forry Ackerman! You should know better than to confuse the Monster with its creator, Frankenstein." I believe I had referred to Frankenstein directly as "the most durable of monsters."
Well now. My mistake was not one of ignorance. I have many editions of the book in my library. I have a set of the sound discs from the original film. Thru the years I have watched the monster portrayed by Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr., Bela Lugosi, Glenn Strange, Ed Payson, Primo Carnera, Christopher Lee and Gary Conway. I have visited the actual Castle Frankenstein, constructed in the 13th century, its ruins surviving till today in Germany. And I could go on and be facetious, adding: "How well I remember that storm-swept nite when a mere slip of a teenage girl, Mary Shelley, age 17, joined me and the authors present in the challenge to see who could produce the most terrifying horror story." But it was 140 years ago that the amazing Mary won the competition by creating "Frankenstein", that -er- most durable of monsters, and I cannot quite yet claim to that many years on this preposterous planet, it just seems so, sometimes, previewing pictures like I Was A Teenage Frankfurter Meets the Meatball Monster.

So: to defend my stand, referring to the monster as Frankenstein (The title of the teenage picture obviously does.) I wrote a 4000 word article called "The Frankenstein Story" for the first issue of FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND and at the outset of the article I informed the readers I was going to refer to the monster as Frankenstein. Precedent was established for me in the film SON OF FRANKENSTEIN. True, the title alluded to the son of the scientist; nevertheless, during the course of the unfoldment of the plot, recognition was given to the fact that people have come to apply the name Frankenstein to the monster he created.
When I was studying English in high school, we were taught that "human" was an adjective; it could never stand alone; in other words, there was no such thing as a "human." "Intrigue" pertained only to spies and plots, it was incorrect to speak of an "intriguing notion" in the sense of interesting or fascinating. (First one who denies FM is an intriguing magazine has to write 100 times on the blackboard "I am not human!") Also, "unique" used to have a unique meaning, but rarely any more; I have seen so may products, places and people publicized as "the most unique of their kind" that I wouldn't be surprised to find some future Frankenstein film advertised as "the most unique FRANKENSTEIN ever made."
Which, in its wretched way, the TEENAGE version is. At least I hope there'll never be another of its kind. It takes place in America today. A descendant of the original Victor Frankenstein, himself a doctor and engrossed in the same sort of "unholy" experimentation, is conveniently supplied a fresh warm corpse when there is a head-on collision of cars outside his apartment and a young driver catapults thru a windshield and smashes on a nearby copse. Dr. Frankenstein and his assistant, whom he has under his power, spirit the badly mutilated body downstairs to a secret labortatory-cum-morgue, which is kept at a freezing temperature and where a Jacob's ladder runs up the electricity bill by crackling 24 hours a day. Now all that really happens when you analyze it is that this crash victim has a leg and hand replaced, a la Orlac, and is brought back to life with a battered face that looks that a 5-year-old child modeled it out of putty, and if the truth were known a 5 year-old-child probably did, give or take a year either way. For no clear reason the accident victim now has to be taught to talk all over and he carries on like a monster.
Frankensteenager!
When I tell you that the mad doctor's method of disposing of excess flesh is via a hidden panel with a starving alligator threshing in the water at the bottom of the well, well--!
TEENAGE is the most tasteless of all FRANKENSTEIN episodes.
Mary Shelley never had it so bad. END

I have re-typed Forry Ackerman's review from FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND issue number 12, from June 1961. James Warren was the Publisher then and Forrest J. Ackerman was the editor and wrote most of the articles. I have scanned the cover and title page to "Inside Darkest Acula." The opinion is Forry Ackerman's and does not necessarily reflect that of my own (I did enjoy the movie a lot more than Forry did, but have some reservations about it myself. And I dare say that there have been worse Frankenstein films made since 1957.

Below is the New York Times film review of Teenage Frankenstein from January 30, 1958. Obviously written by an adult who didn't understand the youth culture of the times and the appeal of these films. In fact, the NY Times never even reviewed I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF.

As if by grim coincidence, I WAS A TEENAGE FRANKENSTEIN arrived at the Paramount yesterday at a time when the city's newspapers were carrying banner accounts of the deepening crisis brought on by teenage violence. It is difficult to disassociate what was happening on the screen from the days occurances in the real world. Both were concerned with acts of physical violation.
If you discount any immediate connection between the mass media and the temper of the culture, then the film warrants little attention. It is the old story of the mad scientist, played by Whit Bissell, who wants to advance human progress by creating the ideal human being. In this case however, the automaton, enacted by Gary Conway, is a teenage assemble from the limbs of other teenagers. This is in one sense, abhorrent. It forces one to acknowledge the impression that such films may aggrevate the mass social sickness euphemistically termed "juvenile delinquency." Since a whole series of movies slanted to the teenage market is expected in the months to come, it may be as good a time as any to raise the question of what effect this further indulgence of the cult of "teenism" ultimately could have.
In this particular film there are graphic displays of human dismemberment. Before one such act of surgical perversion, the mad doctor's assistant says, "I have no stomach for it." That would be a plausible reaction for any adult who has read the day's headlines about teen-age crime. R.W.N.

TOP of PAGE